School

            School is going ok. I am only taking two classes this semester because I felt I would not have been able to pass my classes. Although even with two I feel I am struggling a bit. I am passing my history class with a B. Then this class I am struggling a little more because it is online most of the work. I always end up forgetting to do the homework. I am still going to keep pushing forward and I know I can pass this class if I try my best the remaining of the semester. The workload is actually really good for both my classes. I work 25 hours a week and have an 18 month old at home so; the workload is really good. What is bugging me though about this semester is my history class is about 138 students so my teacher hasn’t really had a chance to meet me. I tried talking to him but there are just so many students waiting to talk to him I don’t really get a chance to introduce myself. As long as I am passing though it should be ok.  I believe the ultimate pay off of keep going through school is I get to show my son that I can to do. That hard work pays off. I want my son to know how hard I worked and that having him didn’t stop my goals. I know that when I have my career and he looks up to struggles and me all the hard work has really paid off for me. If you wouldn’t have guessed my motivation is my son. He is the only person to keep me moving forward. Although, he doesn’t let me do anything while I am at home because he is a huge monster I still try and find time to do my homework and work. Looking at his face just makes me want to succeed in life so he can look up to say, and me “That’s my mom!”

life as i know

                  When I was growing up I was always told not to get pregnant at a young age like my mom. I always told myself why would I even want kids. Growing up I was a great kid in private school then I got put into public school and just everything went downhill from there. I was a teenager making plenty of mistakes and I was all about going out every weekend. My mom of course wouldn’t let me go anywhere without her knowing where I would be. So, of course I would lie to her and so would my friends. She was just looking out for me. She was protecting me. As, I wasn’t a parent I never really understood why she cared too much. In high school I had plenty of friends. Honestly, I was just a girl who wanted to fit in and be cool. By my junior year of high school I moved schools back to Oxnard and I started doing great I knew I wanted to be someone in life, I want to go off to college, and go make a career for myself.  Of course I wanted to make my family proud after everything I put them through. No, I wasn’t the girl who would end up pregnant anymore, I was the girl who was going to go to college, and make something out herself. My senior year was great I went to every event with my friends and even went to some parties here and there but nothing to crazy. Finally I graduated June 2012 with a 3.5, and I was so happy. My whole family was so proud. Nothing could ruin my moment. Everything was really starting to fall into place. Nothing wrong could happen to me at that point. Life was great!

                  August 2012 I was getting really bad stomach pains I went to the doctor they said they just wanted a urine test to make sure its nothing to serious. They came into my room and that is when my life changed forever. “Your pregnant”, my doctor said. I immediately just started crying and asked, “Are you sure? Could it be wrong? Can we retest?” There were a bunch of thoughts running through my head I just didn’t want to believe it. They said I was 3 months pregnant and they did an ultrasound there to see if I only had one baby and so on. My life felt like it was just crashing down on me. The only thing I felt was sadness and honestly, I wanted nothing to do with my life. As much as I was in pain and in disbelief I still went to community college at VC. At 5 months pregnant I started showing so, it was time to tell my mom. Yes, why didn’t I tell my mom sooner? It terrified me to tell her I had let her down. She was disappointed but she understood where I was coming from. She knew exactly what I was going through and she was there for me through the rest of my pregnancy. She never left my side. The dad was there for me my whole pregnancy as well he brought me anything to make me feel comfortable, and I knew he would be a great father. He was so happy to be having this child he wanted nothing but the best for both our child and me.

                  It was 3am February 6^th 2013 I was sleeping on the couch because I wasn’t comfortable on my bed anymore I woke up because I started feeling something wet I got up and I went to my moms room. “I think my water broke mom”, I said, “Are you sure? Did you just wet yourself? Does it smell?” she asked. “Why would she ask if it smelled?” I wondered. Quickly I ran to the restroom and nothing else came out, and so I thought maybe I just peed, I went into my room and just changed my clothes. As soon as I put on my pants a bunch of water just started dripping and coming out. It was so gross. My mom was standing at the doorway “We should go to the hospital”, I told her. So, she went to go change and we were off to the hospital. Luckily the night before I had just packed my hospital bag. My mom started driving I called my boyfriend to let him know. He said he just had to wait till 6 when his worked opened to let them know he wont be there the next couple days. My mom and I got to the hospital and I got checked into a room. I didn’t feel any contractions yet. My doctor told me if I didn’t start contracting by 12pm they were going to have to induce me. My boyfriend got there at about 9am to sit and wait with me. Visitors kept coming in and out for me and just being there for me. But, by 12 I still didn’t feel any contractions. The doctor said it would be time to induce because there was a risk for infection to the baby since my water broke. After about an hour I started feeling little contractions I didn’t think they felt bad and so, I thought they wouldn’t be so bad. But gosh was I way wrong by 3pm my contractions started getting worst and I just couldn’t stand the pain I just kept crying and wanted it to go away. “I want an epidural”, I yelled out. So, the doctor came in had me sign some papers and then I got my epidural. They stuck a needle in my back and it felt like a little pinch with a bit of a sting. The problem though was that I was only 4inches dilated. For me to start pushing I would have to be 9inches dilated.

                  At about 11pm I was still only 5 inches dilated I ended finally falling asleep but kept waking up since I was so uncomfortable. The nurse came in at around 5am to check me again but still I was only 5 inches dilated. “If you don’t dilate further by 9 were going to have to do a C-section”, my nurse said. Immediately I got scared and started crying. My mom and boyfriend said it would be ok. At around 8:30 am I kept saying I feel like I need to poop and just kept yelling that. My mom called the nurse she checked me and said I was 9inches dilated and it was almost time to push. I just wanted this baby out of me. Really though, I felt like I needed to poop. They wheeled me off to the delivery room. There was just a bunch of bright lights. I wanted my mom and boyfriend in there. “You will be fine Karina”, my mom said. “Its time to push”, my doctor said. It felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere when I would push. “I see his head baby keep pushing”, my boyfriend said. “I just want a damn soda”, I yelled. I am not sure why I wanted a soda I just did. “One more push”, my doctor, said. Pushing and pushing I all of a sudden heard a faint cry. The doctors took him out and put him into my arms. I looked at what I had created and just started crying. Crying of happiness. I was so happy and couldn’t believe what I had carried in my stomach for 9months was finally here. “Hello Jacob”, I told him. When I looked at my mom and boyfriend they both had tears in their eyes. We just couldn’t help but keep crying. My boyfriend kissed my forehead and said you did a great job. The doctors took him to clean him off and check everything. Jacob Armando Cervantes was born February 7^th 2013 at 10:29am weight 7oz and 21inches. Finally I was so happy that I was finally able to see my handsome son. My labor lasted for 31 hours and to finally have him out was just so exiting and, I was the happiest I had ever been.

                  Having my baby changed my life. Changed my life though, for the better. It is the proudest moment of my life becoming a mother. Even though he came into my life it didn’t stop me from reaching my goals. Proudly, I am still going to college taking 3 classes and working an average of 20 hours a week. I am not sure where my life would be if I never had My beautiful son but it doesn’t matter because he is my happiness and I will always be there for him no matter what obstacles are thrown at us. We are one happy family. We finally have our own place with his dad and life just couldn’t be any better. Jacob is and will always be my first priority. I love him so much and nothing can or will ever change that.

My Life

  I am going to write about my past, present and future. I don’t like to talk about my past. My past was really challenging and difficult. I grew up in Oxnard and from kindergarten thru 3^rd grade I went to a privet school in Oxnard. My mom was always so proud of me I was getting good grades and had a great attitude. Life was great and seemed easy. For fourth grade though I went to a public school and that’s when all my troubles started. At first I was the smartest kid in class because I went to privet school. After a while though I guess I got into the wrong crowed and I guess you can say I dumbed myself down to be cool.  It was like that till I was in middle school. In seventh grade though I had a bunch of problems at the school I was at and I was forced to move to a school in Ventura by where my mom worked. I didn’t know anyone there I was starting over. I still got bad grades and still got in with the wrong crowd. Off to high school I went still doing badly until my junior year I came back to Oxnard for school and starting over again but this time I got into the right crowd and this time I was getting a 3.0. I ended up graduation my senior year with a 3.5gpa and everything was great. I found I was pregnant August 2012. I attended college and my first semester was a piece of cake my second semester I took two classes as I was due February. I had my son Jacob February 7 2013 and it was the happiest day ever. I did though end up dropping my classes though. School just got hard.

My present is pretty much y son my whole life is based around him. I do everything for him. I am attending Oxnard College and I work part time at Kohl’s. I love working there but I do have a shopping problem. Since I work there I do get the perks of doubling up coupons an always getting a great deal just recently I bough 7 pairs of Nikes for $52.65. Yes I know you can’t believe it but yes that was my exiting shopping day. My son is 18months and growing everyday he is though a big troublemaker. I have my 4year old dog Bella she’s a yorkie and I just call her my older child. She is my company and always there when I need her. I also have a 2-year-old sister. Her name is Victoria and she is 8 months older than my son. As you can imagine it is a crazy household as I still live with my mom. They are always fighting all the time. I love them all so much and wouldn’t trade it for the world.

            My future I see nothing but great things happening for me. I see myself graduating and getting my AA and then transferring to CSUCI to stay close by to home. After I get my degree in Liberal arts I do want to be a high school teacher. I see myself living in my own place with my son and my dog. I want my son to have the life I didn’t have but my mom tried giving me. I don’t want any other children for a while maybe no more who knows. I know though where my life is going I will accomplish my goals and will do great in life and teaching my son that hard works pays off and maybe after he’s done needing me he will take care of me.

This is Jacob my son.

This is Victoria my little sister.

 My older child bella.